Dark Knight Lucied - at a glance

Azer Kriemhild · Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 12:11 am Post subject: Dark Knight Lucied - at a glance

First off, it's pronounced loo-shee-ed, with the emphasis on the 'loo'. Second, well, there is no second. So, for the occupation of your time, I'll be putting an excerpt from what I have thus far. For the sake of ease of reading I'm going to write it out novel-style instead of like a screenplay. Anyway, read and enjoy (or don't and go f*ck yourself. See if I care.):

Azer had a hard time believing Tia grew up in such an aristocratic neighborhood. Through the crowd, he finally spotted her talking with a well-dressed man who clearly spent even more on food than he did on clothing. As he approached out of curiosity, Azer couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable she looked. He ducked into a back alley and summoned Lucied's armor. As the Mad Knight*, his mere presence parted the crowd as he approached Tia.
"Can I help you?" the older gentleman asked with disdain.
Tia jumped in surprise as she turned to see whom the man was addressing.
"Certainly. You can help me by leaving the lady alone. Clearly, she does not want anything to do with you," Azer stopped and sniffed about the man, "or that pungent stench that seems to hang in the air around you."
"How dare you? Do you have any idea who you're talking to? And how can you presume to know what Lady Lucine wants?"
"And you can?"
"Of course I can you barbarian, for she is my love!"
"Your love?" Azer glanced over towards Tia with a cocked eyebrow, to which she gave a desparate, pleading look in response. "I believe you are mistaken, good sir."
"How do you mean?" the man responded impatiently.
"Well, to put it in simple terms that you might understand, she is my betrothed."
"Impossible! Tia, is this true?"
After recovering from her initial shock at Azer's statement, she nodded quietly.
"I'll not believe it! Surely this uncouth ruffian has coerced you with trickery or bribery!"
The man grabbed Tia's wrist to pull her away from Azer. In an instant, Azer had summoned the Sword of Severed Souls and swung hard, stopping a hair short of lopping the man's arm off.
"You'll remove your hand or I shall remove it for you."
A bolt of energy cracked along the blade, and the man jumped back in fear.
"Melanthios take you!" The man turned and started slowly walking away, and seemed to busy himself with something. Before Tia could say anything to Azer, the man walked back and stuck his hand out to her. "I'm sorry to have troubled you, then, Lady Lucine."
Even through the visor of his helm, Azer could see the crumpled note he had passed to her while he shook her hand. Sure enough, as soon as he let go, Tia's hand went straight for her pocket.
Lucied's armor dissapeared in a fine mist and Azer stepped out from the alley to greet Tia once again.
"Thanks for that. You didn't have to do anything."
"What are friends for?"
"You certainly didn't need to summon Lucied's power though." Tia laughed. "What were you thinking, anyway?"
"I couldn't be sure from the look of him if he was an Abyssal. Either way I thought his soul would've made a fine addition to the sword's cache. Shame he was too much of a coward to even try to defend himself, let alone fight for you."
Tia smiled and shook her head. She answered his next question before he could ask. "That was Lord Hasgrove. He's a relic of the life I left behind here. I was supposed to marry him - an arranged marriage - but after meeting him once I decided I wanted to be a Nerean Magess."
"I could see why. He seems to be long gone, so I'm going to head back to the lodge. We'll head out early tomorrow to catch up with the others in New Delford, so don't take too long getting back."
---
Azer was half-asleep in his chair with a half-empty brown flask on the table next to him. Moonlight shone through the near window, but he knew he only had to stay awake a little longer. The dull roar of the fireplace accompanied by the occasional crack of an ember escaping its gilded cage and skipping along the wooded floor before dying in a slow release played a soothing melody, making this task all the more difficult. Light footsteps echoed from the stairwell down the hall and Azer instinctively reached for his dagger. Tia stepped around the corner and joined him in the tavern on the bottom floor of their hotel.
"I'm going out for a walk, okay?"
"Can't sleep?"
"Yeah, but I think the fresh air will do me some good."
"Alright, don't take too long."
Tia moved swiftly to the door and left without another word. No sooner had the door shut behind her than Azer had gotten up and moved to follow her. Leaping from roof to roof took more energy, but he was less likely to be spotted. For a moment, he thought he had lost her, but then he heard her talking.
"What do you want?" She sounded upset. Azer peered over a ledge down into an alley to find Tia and Hasgrove facing each other down.
"I wanted to get you away from that vulgar barbarian so I could hear the truth. You have no love for him - so what has he done to make you profess otherwise? Is it blackmail? I could have him arrested!"
"You presume that I would have a hidden stain upon my good name for which he could blackmail me?"
"Nothing of the sort! Perhaps I misspoke, but I only have your best interest at heart, Lady Lucine."
"Then you would do well to leave the two of us alone."
"How could you expect me to believe that you, a woman of noble blood, could love someone such as he?"
"Azer is more of a man than you could ever hope to be, Dyllan. He may seem rough, but I know him better than most, and I can say from experience that he is one of the kindest, most caring persons I've had the good fortune to meet. He has saved my life at the risk of his own on more than one occasion, and before we even fell in love, no less. If you would love me enough to do the same we might have something to talk about, but what feelings you have for me have nothing to do with love. I bid you goodnight." Tia left the alley in a huff, leaving Hasgrove dumbstruck. Azer raced across the rooftops to get back to the hotel before Tia.
"Back so soon?" He took a swig from his flask.
"Yeah."
"You want a sip?"
"No thanks."
"That dress you wanted earlier today... do you still want it?"
"Why?"
"I think we have enough to afford it, if you really want it."
Tia sat down in the chair across from him and slowly brushed her hair from her face. "Why are you being so nice? This wouldn't have anything to do with what I said in that alley a few minutes ago, would it?"
"You knew I was listening?"
"You're not very sneaky for a thief, you know. I think you should stick to conning people."
"Ouch."
"And I didn't mean anything I said back there - I was only trying to convince him to leave me alone."
"I'm sure. But that has nothing to do with why I'm trying to be nicer."
"Oh?"
"Because you trusted me to follow you."
"I never asked you to follow me."
"Of course you did. You came down and told me you were leaving. Of course, I saw him pass you the note and would've heard you if you tried sneaking out, but you already knew that I knew, didn't you?"
"Maybe."
"Well, anyway, I'm honored."
"Great, I've earned the honor of a thief."
"Hey, you know I wasn't always a thief." Azer complained, taking another drink from his flask. "I used to be a noble just like you."
"Really?" Tia asked, not believing a word.
"Maybe not exactly like you, but I was still a noble. There was a time I went by Azer van Keuric."
"Azer van Keuric, huh? I knew the van Keuric's had a son, but I'm almost positive he died in the Abyssal War."
"I did, in a manner of speaking. My father volunteered me to fight, and my status put me in charge of an entire squad. Then I went AWOL."
"Why?"
Azer stood up, circled around his chair and rested his elbows on the back. "No, not today, but someday. Suffice to say that my commanding officers and I had different opinions on how things should be run. The point is that after I went AWOL, my father paid off several officials to have me listed as KIA in order to save face." He took another sip from his flask. "I can't say as I blame him, though, and I've been Azer Kriemhild ever since."
"Wow, I... had no idea."
Azer stepped away from the chair and stumbled over his own feet, only barely keeping his balance.
"You're drunk! How much of what you just said can I even believe?"
"I don't know, because I don't really remember what I said, but my guess would be none." Azer slurred as he headed down the hall towards the stairwell. "Anyway, goodnight Tia."
"Goodnight." She shook her head. "Unbelievable..."
Tia wanted to get some sleep as well, but she couldn't help but mull over Azer's story. In exasperation, she decided she needed a drink and stole into Azer's room. The brown flask by the side of his bed still had a bit left in it. Tia picked it up, unscrewed the cap and said to herself "He did offer." After taking a swig, she sloshed the liquid around in her mouth a few times, trying to acquire the taste, and finally swallowed it in one gulp. "Apple cider?" She almost shouted, then looked down at Azer and laughed quietly. "Once a conman, always a conman I suppose."

_________________________________
There you have it. That asterisk near the beginning is just for me to note to you that there isn't a typo. The story is called "Dark Knight Lucied," but within the story, Lucied is also known as the Mad Knight, but not the Dark Knight. Don't worry though, there are reasons beyond the scope of this excerpt as to why this Batman-copyright-infringing title is what it is.
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Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
~Mark Twain

Dabomberman · Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:06 pm Post subject:

Interesting read, doesn't cover very much plot but shows a bit of character development. At some points it almost seems a bit cliche, but its hard to avoid this sometimes.
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PC Oibo · Killtacular! Joined: 27 Nov 2006 Posts: 347

What Tyler said Smile

.

Azer Kriemhild · Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 8:16 pm Post subject:

I know I didn't go too much into plot - I don't have all that much written yet and most what I have is centered around a very big plot twist, so it was kind of hard to avoid giving it away. Still, for what it's worth, I'll include a little spoiler-free plot summary below:

---
Azer Kriemhild is a conman who travels from town to town posing as a sellsword, making off with his clients money without ever completing a contract. In the Holy City Vertice, he meets a noblewoman named Tia Lucine. She hires him to help her find her brother who, as part of his training for knighthood, had entered a tomb of Abyssals, demon-like creatures who were all but wiped out in the recent Abyssal War, several days before. After he agrees, she informs him that she intends to go with him, and reveals that she is a Nerean Magess, a practitioner of water magicks. In the process of exploring the tomb, Azer unleashes the former lord of the Abyss, the Mad Knight Lucied, and ultimately ends up allowing Lucied to possess him in order to stop the Mad Knight from killing them both.

As they quickly discover, Lucied was imprisoned there by one of his own - the current Abyssal Lord, Dremalius. Dremalius robbed Lucied of his power and plans to lead the Abyssals against the mortal realm as retribution for the Abyssal War. In the course of their attempts to prevent this, they find allies in Rayner Vos, a Demi-Abyssal who fought against the Abyssals in the war, Karin Aldridge, an Eterian who was sent to the mortal realm to banish Lucied back to the Abyss, and a young boy named Merit Feist who has the rare talent of being able to open and close portals between the realms.

Dremalius sends his minions after them, but through harnessing Lucied's power, Azer grows stronger with each victory - as does Lucied.
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Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
~Mark Twain

Azer Kriemhild · Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:07 am Post subject:

Another section - this one shorter and towards the end of the story. I've cut out stuff pertaining to major plot developments, but it should still be cohesive enough to pass as readable. I suppose I should also ask if people think it would be better if I just divulged the whole plot so you can follow the excerpts more easily.
Oh, and as for the asterisk waay down below, I looked it up, and it turns out that Deus Ex Machina is not it's own plural. The name I use is in fact the accurate Latin plural for it.

---

Azer looked back towards the camp and watched Karin and Rayner talking while she occasionally stirred the stew hanging over the fire.
"Looks like they're getting along."
Tia nodded quietly.
"Tia?"
"Hmm?"
He stopped leaning against the tree and took several steps towards her.
"You hardly spoken to me at all since we came back from Eteria. What's up?"
Tia took a step back as he approached, and he immediately stopped.
"What do you expect? I've kind of got a lot to think about, don't I? I mean, it's a lot to take in, and yeah, I'm a little scared and confused. And I know what you're going to say - you'll say 'You're confused? How do you think I feel?'"
"I'm not going to say that."
"Well, yeah, now that I've already said it for you."
"No, I'm not going to say it because I'm not confused. And I'm not scared. And do you know why?"
"Don't give me that tough guy act - this is big, and it had to have had some kind of effect on you."
"I'll tell you why. It's because it doesn't make a difference. It doesn't change who I've been up till this moment and who I am right now. But maybe I'm being unfair with you - I mean, I know how I feel, so I don't have to look at myself from the outside. Maybe this does make a difference for you."
"Of course it does - it puts everything in a completely different perspective."
Azer looked away, and started walking back towards the tree he'd been leaning on.
"I'm sorry, I just need some more time to think things over, Azer."
He stopped. "You remember I once told you I went AWOL."
"Yeah, you were drunk on that apple cider. Why?"
Azer laughed. "You knew it was apple cider?"
"Yeah, I snuck in for a drink after you fell asleep."
"Why didn't you call me on it?"
"I figured you really didn't want to talk about it if you went that far to convince me you made the whole thing up. And I knew you'd tell me when you were ready, anyway."
"Yeah, I can really see you being that objective." he scoffed. "I'm sure it aggravated you to no end."
"Maybe you're right."
Azer went back to the tree and leaned against it so he was facing her. "It was around the middle of the war. I think I told you I had my own squad. What I didn't mention was that we were involved in covert ops. For the most part we simply assassinated enemy commanders and occasionally slipped through Abyssal Gates to bring the fight to them through sabotage and the likes. When the scales finally tipped in our favor, I received orders to focus our efforts on the Demi's that fought alongside the Abyssals, and I guess I knew where it was going but I did nothing to stop it. Sure enough, I got orders to 'purge' the Demi's from our ranks. There were several in my unit alone, and so I warned them and let them escape." Azer took a deep breath. "Then they told me I'd committed treason and that if I failed to hunt down and execute every Demi that I'd let escape, they would execute me instead. I caught up with one of them. And I guess fear got in the way of my better judgment."
Tia looked surprised, anticipating what he was about to say.
"That's right. I killed him. And shortly thereafter, I left. I figured, now that I had shed innocent blood, better they should come after me than any of the others. Looking back, though, I'm sure none of them escaped with their lives."
Tia looked down at the ground, unsure of what to say. For a moment, the only sounds were the chirping of crickets and the crackle of the campfire. Finally, she looked up and with all due seriousness asked him "Why are you telling me this?"
Azer nodded slowly. "Because it's a part of who I am. I made a mistake. A horrible mistake that cost an innocent man his life. And I'll have to live with that for the rest of mine. But do you know what that makes me?"
Tia just stared silently.
"Human."
"I hardly think that that's what qualifies someone as human." she responded.
"You've got a point. It makes me something else, though. And hopefully this will clear up your confusion."
"What's that?"
"It makes me Azer Kriemhild."
"Wow..." Tia shook her head. "That was really... schmaltzy."
She smiled and he laughed. "I know, but you get the idea, right?"
Tia pulled a loose strand of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Yeah, I get it I suppose. But still..."
"What is it now?" Azer asked in mock exasperation.
"It's still going to affect some things. Like your future."
"How so?"
"Well, when you die. I mean, it's not like Kor is going to cycle your soul energy back into a new life."
"...Well, I suppose at least I won't have to worry about that until years and years from now."
"You don't know that!" Tia snapped. "What we're about to go do..." she said while pointing towards Holy City Vertice in the distance. "It's bigger than Dremalius. And there's no way you can know if you, or I, or any one of us is going to come out of it alive."
"It's thinking like that that will get you killed."
"Listen, I know I can be bad sometimes, but there is no way you can look at things that objectively."
"What do you want me to say? Yeah, we could all die? Everyone on Aiur could die. Saying it or not doesn't change anything, but thinking that we will does."
"Fine, I'll drop it. But do you even know what's going to happen to you when you die?"
"No more than anyone else does, I suppose. Though you're probably right about me coming back any time soon. Why should it matter though?"
"It matters to me." Tia muttered.
"You got plans for after you die? You know, Kor's avatar is undoubtedly already down there fighting - I could put in a request for you if you'd like." Azer commented jokingly.
"Well, if it's possible..." She trailed off.
He looked up with sudden interest. "What is it? I could really ask him if you want me to." he said earnestly.
"Well... and again, I don't know if it's even possible, but... I'd kind of like to end up wherever... you do."
Azer looked away, blushing slightly. "T-that could be anywhere, you know?"
"I know."
---
"What do you think they're talking about, Ray?" Karin asked while stirring the ladle around in the pot.
"Knowing those two? Probably battle strategies for tomorrow."
"Not with looks like those on their faces, they're not."
"Well, the two of them are both too damn stubborn to ever admit how they really feel about each other, so I'm sure it's not that."
Karin looked up in surprise. "That is shockingly cognizant of you."
Rayner shook his head and laughed. "You'd have to be blind not to see the signs."
"You know, I heard what you said earlier, when you were talking to Lord Wyn."
"Well, that's good then, because I meant for you to hear." he bluffed. "How much, exactly, did you hear?"
"Enough to say that you don't have to worry about me returning to Eteria any time soon. I've been thinking about it ever since we left there, and I think that knowing him personally puts me in an advantageous position to preach the teachings of Lord Wyn here on Aiur."
"You won't miss your father?"
Karin smiled. "He'll understand, and I'll be fine."
"Your Dei Ex Machinis* will fall into disrepair."
"Hey, his blood runs through my veins you know - I'm sure if I bothered trying I could learn how to maintain them myself."
Rayner took a deep breath and sighed. "You're sure about this?"
"I'm sure." she confirmed, taking his hand and entwining her fingers with his.
"Then I guess all we have to do is save the world. Again."
"How many times does this make?"
"Well, I believe this is number two. Unless you count that battle in the temple; we lost the fight but we did manage to destroy the sword, and that probably saved the world too."
"Yeah, let's say three, just to be on the safe side."
"Okay, so we just save the world and then what? You want to get married?"
"Eventually."
"And you know who we could get to perform the ceremony. Wouldn't that be a kick in the codpiece?" Rayner laughed.
"To have Lord Wyn himself... the marriage would be blessed for the rest of our lives."
Rayner sighed. "You know, if you heard us talking, then you know he told me to get you to stop calling him that."
"I'll call him by his name, and his name is Lord Wyn."
"I think he would beg to differ."
"Then let him tell me himself. Since when are you his lackey?"
He leaned away from Karin and gave her an incredulous look. "You're going to ignore the word of Lord Wyn as handed down through me?"
Karin laughed. "You make it sound so... bizarre."
"If you two are done arguing, I think the stew is boiling over." Azer said as he and Tia walked towards them.
"Oh my!" Karin exclaimed and quickly lifted the pot up and away from the flames while everyone else shared a laugh at her expense.

---

From this you should be able to surmise that for all his evil intentions, Dremalius isn't the worst threat the group faces. You might be able to guess who or what is. You should also have realized that something big is centered around Azer, but I can't see as how you could even guess what it is. Of course, if you can guess, I'm sure you'll only be guessing in the direction I purposely made the dialogue misleading towards while de-spoilerizing it. Anyway, I figured I'd post this part too, since it ties into the conversation towards the end of the original post. Oh, and Kor is the second God, the God of Fate, and is in charge of destiny and souls. And Melanthios, who is mentioned in the first excerpt, is the eighth God, the God of Darkness, who twisted desire (the element of the first God) into greed and bled it into the human soul. Oh, he also created the realm of the Abyss and the Abyssal race. Yeah, I've made an entire pantheon of Gods for this story.
_________________
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
~Mark Twain

Azer Kriemhild · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:47 am Post subject:

More (potentially) anime goodness. This takes place right after the introduction of Karin's character (so pretty early on in the storyline).
---

"Azer, you moron, do you even know where we are? We're lost because of you!" Tia shouted over the roar of the Kraftstrahl's motor.
"Because of me? I'm only steering this stupid contraption - you're the one with the map!"
"I'm telling you where to go - it's not my fault if you don't know how to listen to directions!"
"You talk so damn much it's hard not to tune you out!"
"So you admit you weren't listening!"
"The only thing I admitted was that you have an annoying voice!"
"I have an annoying voice? How about you, mister 'I'm so tough I need to use an Abyssal's strength to do anything?'"
"Oh, nice, considering I was the one who saved your ass back then!"
"I could've handled it!"
"Just like you've handled every other Abyssal we've come up against so far?"
"Are you implying I couldn't have taken them down if I wanted to?"
"Who's implying anything? I'm telling you that!"
Karin walked up to Rayner who was standing well away from Azer and Tia.
"Rayner, was it? Do those two ever stop fighting?"
Rayner shook his head. "I wouldn't know - I've only known them for a few months. You should ask someone who's known them longer."
Karin smiled. "I see. Well, the Kraftstrahl was designed to draw energy from the Soulstream, so we may run into some problems."
"How so?"
"Well, it was designed in Eteria, obviously. The Soulstream is stronger there than it is here, so unless we find a way to tap into the Soulstream directly, we'll slowly run out of energy."
"Is that why we're so low to the ground?"
Karin looked shocked for a moment. "How did you know it could fly higher?"
"I may be a Demi, but I inherit the knowledge of my ancestors, and they fought the Eterians often enough to know the capabilities of their Dei Ex Machinis."
"You are a Demi?"
"I'll take your surprise as a compliment. We aren't all lucky enough to be born so near to human form."
"I wouldn't know - I've never met one of your kind at all."
Rayner extended his hand to her. "Well then, Miss Aldridge, it's a pleasure to meet you."
Karin took his hand after a moment's hesitation and shook it. "Again, your knowledge surprises me. How did you know my surname?"
"Please, you give me too little credit. A Machina of this size and craftsmanship could only be the work of Yevn Aldridge, and assuredly he would only allow one of his kin to pilot it. That you were his daughter was just a guess."
Karin looked back towards Azer and Tia, who were still arguing, and then back to Rayner. "Speaking of which, now that I'm rested up, I suppose I should take over piloting." She started walking towards the controls and said over her shoulder to him "Oh, and please call me Karin."
After Karin had broken up the fight and taken over the controls, Tia stayed with her to navigate while Azer approached Rayner.
"I can't believe that woman sometimes."
"Another lover's quarrel?"
"Do you think a Demi could survive a fall to Aiur from this height and at this speed?"
Rayner nodded his head once. "Point taken. What were you two even fighting about?"
"Who knows? I stopped listening to her after the first minute or two."
Rayner shook his head. "Sometimes I wonder just who is antagonizing whom."
"Are you implying this is somehow my fault?"
"Oh, of course not, fearless leader."
"Good."
"I'm telling you that."
Azer rolled his eyes. "Very funny. Would you like to see what the hatch looks like from the outside?"
Rayner shrugged his shoulders and walked off the bridge. Azer approached the controls.
"So, what are headed to Perrol for?"
Tia looked up from her map and was about to start arguing again when Karin answered, while keeping her eyes and hands on the controls.
"I have a contact there who might be able to exorcise you. At the very least, he can point us in the direction of Dremalius."
"What's your interest in Dremalius? I thought you only came here for Lucied."
"A threat to Aiur is a threat to Eteria. No, I don't have orders to kill Dremalius, but if what you say is true and he is preparing for a large-scale war, then it is my duty as a Gilean Knight to stop him."
"You are a Gilean Knight?"
"What's a Gilean Knight?" Tia asked.
"We're trained in the use of Machinis and charged with the defense of not only Eteria, but Aiur as well."
"Why Aiur?"
"It is our belief that Lord Wyn created the Eterians to defend the creations of Lord Tiras from Melanthios' Abyssals. As Lord Wyn and Melanthios are brothers, so too are we to the Abyssals, and as such are in the strongest position to defeat them."
"Lord Wyn must be some God to allow this sort of thing to happen." Azer commented sarcastically.
"He is the God of Light, who stands for all that is good in man's heart, as do we his soldiers. That he has not intervene means nothing other than his continued belief in the power that mankind possesses."
"Alright, but what of Kor and Imit, supposedly the Lords of the elements that crafted body and soul? Surely they could at least afford to send an Avatar."
Tia gave the two a scornful look and went back to studying the map, unable to keep up with their conversation.
"You obviously never took your studies seriously, or you would know that in all history, Imit has never sent an Avatar to any of the planes of creation, and Kor is unable to do so as his task as Arbiter of the Souls keeps him perpetually occupied."
"I would think a God of supposed power enough to create time itself would be able to find enough of it to come down here and lend us a hand."
"That's not the way things work and you know it. In any event, it's clear that you are a devout non-believer, and further discussion would only be a waste of our time."
"Yes, it would."
"Tia, I'm honestly surprised that you seem to have had no formal schooling of religion, though."
"You can't blame her - all the aristocracy of this generation are brought up with as minimal religious training as possible. Their parents think it will make them more self-sufficient."
"How would you know anything about my childhood? Or anything about aristocracy for that matter? You're a con artist who probably grew up as a penniless street urchin."
The Kraftstrahl lurched and began sinking through the cloud bank and the land beneath them became visible. Tia turned back to her map and then to Karin.
"We're not anywhere near Perrol yet! What are you doing?"
"We're running out of fuel...sooner than I had expected. We'll land in that canyon and proceed on foot from there."
"Are we so low on fuel?"
"Not really, but I'd like to keep enough in reserve to operate the gate matrix so that I may return to Eteria once this is over. Now strap yourselves in and brace for the landing."
Tia and Azer did so, and Karin guided the Kraftstrahl into the canyon and came to a surprisingly smooth stop. Azer and Tia both unfastened their safety belts and stood up just as the ship began to freefall sixty feet to the ground below. Tia rapidly ascended towards the ceiling, but Azer, having kicked himself up off the ground, flew faster and managed to catch her and absorb the impact of the ceiling with his back, then spun around and did the same as gravity ran its course.
Tia got up off of Azer and dusted herself off. "Well thanks, Azer. I guess I'll forgive you for what you said earlier."
"That's it?" Azer stood up and rubbed the back of his head. "I'm beginning to think I save you so often you're losing your appreciation for it."
Tia pouted. "Nevermind what I said; you're still a jerk!"
"Yeah, well this jerk is fed up with saving your ass all the time!"
"Well then stop it - who asked you to save me anyway?"
"I can't just not save you, you'd be dead in a week!"
"What do you care?"
"You know what? You're right, I don't! Fine, next time you can save yourself!"
"Good!"
"Fine!"
"I'm glad!"
"Good, because I mean it!"
"That's great, because I don't even want your help!"
"Well, I don't intend to give it!"
"Great!"
"It is!"
Karin propped herself on the controls and watched, shaking her head slowly.
_________________
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
~Mark Twain

Azer Kriemhild · Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 1:41 am Post subject:

Alright - first an update:
I've solidified about 60% of the overall plot and have created (if not fully fleshed out) all of the main players in the story. Having said that, I'm going to drop the bomb on what the story is all about. I'm going to write the plot summary chronologically, which will ruin some of the surprise but will make it a lot easier to follow.

First, the religion/pantheon:
Before time and space there was just an entity known as Tiras. It desired presence and placement, and so created Imit, a god who had the power to create physicality, and Kor, a god whose power was to read and write the weave of time. As Tiras desired company, Kor created the gods Chandara and Hercos, the gods of Entropy and Spirit respectively, where Imit created the gods Endaril and Nerine, the gods of body and of lifeblood. These four new gods created living beings, and Imit and Kor created a universe and a timestream for them to inhabit. Eons progressed, and Tiras, bored with its entertainment, sought strife and struggle for these beings, and created Melanthios, a god of darkness who introduced rage, jealousy, greed and the likes to these living beings. Near instantly, the civilization crumbled around itself. And so Tiras created the ninth and final god, Wyn, the god of light who brought happiness, love and charity to the created. Wyn and Melanthios constantly fought over whose philosophy was best for the created; Wyn preaching the virtues of harmony while Melanthios argued that only the strongest deserved to survive. And so with Tiras' approval and the assistance of the four gods of life, created races of their own, each instilled with only the properties of their respective lords: the Dæmoncleas of Melanthios and the Eterians of Wyn. Finally, long after humanity recovered from Melanthios' influence and the two new civilizations had established themselves as well, Wyn and Melanthios returned to their arguement, and came to the conclusion that humanity should decide for itself whose influence was in their best interest and - without consulting Tiras - created a human with equal parts light and darkness, and gifted him with the ability to open portals to all the realms Imit created, including those of essence, and so could open a portal that would flood the world with light or darkness. Enraged at their gall, Tiras ordered the other gods to craft bodies that could house the two gods' essence and then send them to the material realms to experience firsthand whatever the outcome of their experiment.

Now for the actual story:

There's a kid named Azer van Keuric who is raised in a noble family and sent off to fight in a war against the Dæmoncleas which began shortly before he came of age. It's during this time he befriends a Demi-Dæmon named Rayn. He becomes a captain, but as the war progresses he is ordered to assassinate any and all Demi-Dæmons under his command. He does kill one, but as his conscience catches up with him, he warns the others and then goes AWOL himself for fear of the military's wrath. He becomes Azer Kriemhild, a con-artist who masquerades as a sell-sword.
Then you've got Tia Rothschild, also a noble-born, who is set up by her family for an arranged marriage. To avoid this fate, she runs off to become a Chandaran priestess. For several years, she is taught combat techniques by her mentor, a priestess named Vesta. Vesta is one of several priestesses in the Chandaran monastery to be sent off to fight in the war. She leaves her familiar, Siofra, a small red fox who had taken a liking to Tia, with Tia. News of Vesta's death came shortly thereafter. After learning some basic Chandaran magics, she is sent off on a pilgrimage without being told where to go or what to do (a Chandaran tradition). She decides to search for her older brother, who disappeared years ago tracking down a powerful Dæmon. Her search leads her to the town of Grisham, located near an ancient Dæmon tomb and the town where Azer Kriemhild happened to be plying his trade at the time. She hires him as a bodyguard, and as his usual (very weak) Hercosian magics fail to put her to sleep so as to run off with his pay, he is forced to actually finish the job. When sidetracked by a bit of grave robbing, Azer unleashes the spirit of a powerful Dæmon named Lucied, but in an odd moment of chivalry, takes Lucied into himself so as to protect Tia.
Azer promptly decides to leave the tomb in search of an exorcist who can remove Lucied, and Tia follows him, believing this to be a part of her pilgrimage. The two find themselves beset by Dæmons on their way to the Holy Capital Dentin, but Azer signs a contract with Lucied to borrow its power in exchange for a bit of his soul at each use, and uses said power to defeat their attackers. Once in Dentin, they encounter Rayn, who passes well enough for human and has since become a mercenary of no small renown. Owing his life to Azer, he agrees to help Azer find an exorcist. Rayn uses his influence to get an audience with the High Priest, who informs Azer that since he signed a contract, the only way to free himself was to complete the contract (and thusly die) or to have Lucied leave of its own accord. Lucied tells Azer that it will leave if Azer defeats the Dæmon who killed it, Dremalius.
Dremalius, as it turns out, had been the leader of the Dæmons for hundreds of years, until Lucied came along and in twenty had usurped the throne and led the Dæmons in the very war that Azer had fought in. Dremalius got revenge though (obviously), and retook the throne after Lucied fell. Ironically, it was Lucied's presence inside Azer that caught Dremalius' attention, who sent the Dæmons that ultimately forced Azer to contract with Lucied.
They go back to the High Priest with this new information, only to find the High Priest and the King himself planning to bring a new war to the realm of the Dæmoncleas, using a young prodigy named Merit Feist who has the ability to open portals to other realms. After realizing who Lucied is, the King conscripts Azer to use his newfound powers to kill Dremalius. Being as how he'd have to do it either way, he agrees, and so Merit joins the group.
In order to open a portal large enough for an entire army to march through, the group needs to collect a lot of powerful artifacts to offer up as sacrifice at an Imitaean temple. The first artifact they recover is one Lucied leads them to, called the Sword of Severed Souls, which had been used to kill thousands in the past, with each life ended, its soul drawn into the blade to make it stronger. However, only when in the form of Lucied can Azer wield the sword, as it would otherwise backlash and attempt to draw his own soul into it - Lucied, being a Dæmon (who don't have souls in the traditional sense) is immune from its effect. So the sword remains immaterial until Azer as Lucied summons it. With this power, he fights off Dremalius' repeated attempts on his life.
Dremalius, however, quickly realizes what they're up to and redoubles his efforts to kill both Azer and Merit. And so the story progresses from there as they collect artifacts and fend off attacks from Dremalius and his horde. Along the way, they encounter an Eterian by the name of Karin Scheinvogel, a high officer of the Eterian court whose orders are to destroy Lucied. After a brief battle in which Azer refuses to fight or even transform, Karin agrees that she cannot kill Azer to get to Lucied unless/until Azer allows himself to become corrupted by Lucied's influence. And so Karin joins the group. They also encounter two archers named Nina and Ava, who are incredibly powerful magesses of Chandara and Nerine respectively. The two archers appear intermittently throughout the story and both seem to be inexplicably in love with Azer, and constantly fight with one another about this, though they usually make things worse whenever they try to help the group, they do mean well.
Towards the middle of the season (remember: it's supposed to be an anime), they've gathered enough to open the portal and are on their way to an Imitaean temple when Dremalius himself surfaces and (oh, I suppose I should have mentioned that both the Dæmoncleas and the Eterians have developed ways of entering and exiting the human realm, but the humans have not - Merit is the first human to be able to do so) manages to kill Merit before retreating. Lucied, eager to get on with it, offers the location of a holy chalice of Kor, which the group should be able to sacrifice in a Korite (because calling it Korean would be bad Razz

) temple in exchange for Kor returning Merit's soul to his body (one of Kor's duties is as the Arbiter of Souls [judging and reincarnating them]). After recovering the chalice and arriving at the Korite temple, they are beset again by Dæmons, who ultimately kill Siofra (the fox familiar). Tia cannot summon its spirit back as she was not the original summoner. She keeps its body so as to give it a proper burial once their business in the temple is complete. Azer has other plans, however, and rather than completing the ritual sacrifice of the chalice, summons the Sword of Severed Souls with his own hands, and while resisting its pull, offers to Kor all the souls collected within it in exchange for those of Merit and Siofra. Kor, in a very rare display, appears in avatar form to complete the transaction in person. The discharge of souls from the sword knocks everyone unconscious, leaving Kor and Lucied (who takes temporary control of Azer's unconscious body) to have a conversation hinting at the oddity of Azer's wielding the sword without dying. Now nigh powerless, Azer leaves the sword hidden away in the temple and the group continues on as planned and ultimately kill Dremalius within the Imitaean temple before they even start the portal ceremony, and as the final blow is struck, Lucied flees Azer's body, and Azer, heavily wounded from the battle, falls unconscious.
After Azer finishes healing in a nearby village, Karin decides to take the whole group aboard the Kraftstrahl (a flying Deus Ex Machina capable of transporting people between the human and Eterian realms. Notwithstanding the ramifications of bringing Rayn (a Demi-Dæmon) into the Eterian realm, Karin gets an audience with the Eterian lord, Lord Ilia and asks him to divine if Azer is in fact of Eterian heritage (which would explain his holding the sword without dying). Lord Ilia, however, immediately sends Azer to the catacombs, where Eterian scholars hook him up to a Machina that shows him memories that aren't his (but that nonetheless seem vaguely familiar to him). After re-confronting Lord Ilia, Azer is informed that he is Wyn incarnate, whose spirit Lord Ilia recognizes from his various meetings with Wyn's avatar. Eventually, all of Azer's memories as Wyn come back to him, including those that make him realize that Lucied was in fact Melanthios incarnate.
On a side note, he also comes to the startling realization that Nina and Ava are in fact Chandara and Nerine incarnate - the two had both loved Wyn in heaven and so pleaded with Tiras to be given bodies of their own in order to stay with him (even knowing full well that they would not be "born" with the memories of their godhood).
Anyway, so Lucied/Melanthios knows full well who Merit is and what he is capable of, and since being released from Azer has been rallying the Dæmons under his flag once again to wage war on the human realm, all as a guise to get into the Holy Capital Dentin and force Merit (who had returned there instead of going to Eteria with the rest) to open a portal to the realm of dark essence. Kor's avatar appears to the group in Eteria to warn them of these goings-on, and tells Azer that the Sword of Severed Souls needs to be destroyed before Lucied can wield it. They go back to the human realm (Lord Ilia incidentally sends forth the Eterian army and their Dei Ex Machinis to aid the humans in the war with the Dæmoncleas) and to the Korite temple to retrieve/destroy the sword, encounter Lucied there and are nearly killed. Azer at the last minute puts the blade on the altar and sacrifices it in the name of Kor (not the souls within [it's empty now anyway] but the sword itself). It's destroyed, and Lucied promptly leaves in a huff, confident that he can still win without the sword so long as Azer is no longer able to wield it against him. Also, by process of sacrificing the sword, Azer is entitled to a favor by Kor, but that's a story for another time. All the forces converge in the Holy Capital with the group (joined along the way by Nina and Ava) a day's journey away. When they finally arrive, they lend what strength they can to the battle, while Azer heads straightaway for Lucied and the two do battle. Quite epically I might add. At some point, Lucied has Azer nearly defeated, and thusly convinces Merit (a hostage forced to watch their battle) to make that shift towards the darkness and open the portal. Azer summons his strength, beats back Lucied and gets Merit to close the portal (an act that costs Merit his life) in time to save the world, though the Holy Capital is enveloped in chaos even after the Dæmoncleas are beaten back, due to the heavy presence of darkness that escaped from the portal before it was closed. The last we see of Azer is his collapse after sacrificing all of his remaining energy to help seal the portal. A year after the battle, Karin has become the first Eterian to wield Wynian magics (his gift to them in their creation was "the Divine Spark," which enabled them to create the Dei Ex Machinis, but the Eterians had never been able to unlock the Divine Spark as a magic). Rather than returning to Eteria, she stays in the human realm to work as a Wynian priestess. Rayn stays with her as her husband/bodyguard. Tia moves out to the countryside to live peacefully with her newborn daughter Eira. Nina and Ava live nearby and offer her company and food from their hunting when she needs it. Hmm... am I forgetting someone?
_________________
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
~Mark Twain

Azer Kriemhild · Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:42 pm Post subject:

I suppose I should've put this at the end of my last post, but anyway:
Thoughts?
_________________
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
~Mark Twain

Azer Kriemhild · Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 11:13 pm Post subject:

My brain sucks and must be shut up. I just had an idea for a completely different book that takes place in this same universe, 200-some-odd years after the events in this book. This makes for nine unfinished books in my head.
_________________
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
~Mark Twain

Azer Kriemhild · Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 1:49 pm Post subject:

Yes indeed, the script-style formatting is ruined by a tab-less forum system. So MS Word document it is. In the meantime, I can at least fill you all in on the updates made to the overall story. Tia's brother, instead of having just disappeared, is actually a wanted criminal (for what I've yet to decide, though I'm thinking going AWOL just as Azer once did would be kind of interesting). Her pilgrimage then is to find him to either convince him to turn himself in or to kill him herself if he doesn't.
New character #1 comes in right after Azer and Tia meet up with Rayn and when they leave Dentin together. Oh, Dentin is now (though I don't remember specifying anywhere else before) Azer's hometown. Anyway, when the group leaves, they are intercepted by Azer's former instructor from the military academy, Nevel Joleen, a famous general who proved herself in the outset of the Dæmoncleas War. She's a hardass with a sarcastic bent who's really good at reading people. She's a decent sword fighter (using a one-handed sword), but specializes in Hercosian magics (think earth-element). Oh, and for no particular reason, she has a British accent.
New character #2 is Oriana Celette, who is a monk and the sole caretaker of the Imitian head temple (Imit being a second-tier god and thus much less often worshiped than those on the third tier). Aside from being a master of hand-to-hand combat, she's got the ability to shift planar alignments and thus strengthen the soulstream in focused areas allowing the Volkraft (Karin's aircraft) to refuel.
New character #3 is Gregor Brennan, a Demi-Eterian who researches ways to adapt the Eterian Dei Ex Machinis for human use. With Karin's Machinis skills really only in the realm of weaponry, it falls on Gregor to repair and maintain the Volkraft. He wields a metal staff with five or six rings of spinning blades (think "horizontal chainsaw"), and speaks w/ a russian accent.
Also, the battle with Dremalius, instead of in the Imitian temple, now takes place in the ruins of Bal Agrana, an ancient Melanthian temple (keeping in mind that Lucied is actually Melanthios). There's a lot of backstory behind the temple (and surrounding civilization on its respective island) being in ruin, but I won't bore you with the details. Anyway, the events in this scene take place AFTER that battle, as well as the group's meeting with the lord of the Eterians, (now named Lord Parvuluxis [side note: name is an amalgamation of latin words that mean "child of light"). Also also, after this meeting, Parvuluxis requests Azer meet him alone later on, which leads to a discussion about how Azer has kept his energy stored away for too long, and now to use it at all risks a sudden release of all the pressure resulting in an explosion of energy that would destroy everything around him, and needless to say, himself as well. By the same token, keeping it bottled up is like putting a lid on a pressure cooker without turning off the source of the heat - it's still going to explode, and is only a matter of prolonging the inevitable.
Sorry for the long exposition. I'll close by setting the scene up - basically, at this point, they've just returned from Eteria and are making a bee-line for Bal Agrana, and have just stopped in Roleal, a snowy port town on the northern edge of the Guilean continent (yes, I've made a world map). From there the idea is to go south over the continent until they can go further east to the island that Bal Agrana is on. Azer is rushing the group there, but at this point no one else (including the audience) really knows why. Anyway, they've stopped in Roleal to refuel the Volkraft.

EDIT: Ahh, revisions. More new ideas came and I made some changes to the final scene. I think it's even better, plus it goes into the history of Bal Agrana that I was talking about. Also, I know I've said this before, but I really would like everyone's thoughts on this piece. Anyway, new version posted below.

EDIT AGAIN: Dammit, just noticed the glaring omission of an entire line of dialogue. Sonofabitch. Here's the fix.

Enjoy
_________________
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
~Mark Twain

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